Co-Parenting Tips for Vacationing
Family vacations are the perfect opportunity to create a fresh batch of core memories. Every family has their vacation traditions. Some like to return to the same resort while others like to embark on new adventures to new destinations.
Whatever your version of the ideal family vacation might be, in a post-divorce co-parenting world, it’s going to mean a lot more coordination with your ex.
Planning your vacation will involve a lot more than booking flights and hotels. It will also require you to follow your court orders that pertain to custody and vacations. The important thing to remember is that vacation with your kids is going to be an amazing opportunity to bond with them and see how they’re doing with all the transitions.
When you consider the value of making those new core memories, staying in compliance with your custody agreements won’t be that big of a deal.
Review Your Custody Agreement and Travel Provisions
When you were married, decisions about what to do with the kids weren’t complicated and were probably handled with a few texts. There are a few more “steps” to follow under the travel provisions of a custody agreement. For a happy vacation, you should try to frame the compliance as part of your travel checklist.
If this will be your first co-parenting family vacation, here’s what you need to check out and check off the list:
Notice Requirements
Does your custody agreement require written notice of travel? It might be a 30-day or 60-day advance notice.
Consent Requirements
If your vacation is taking you out of state or overseas, your custody agreement often requires written consent from your ex.
Itinerary Details
Under the terms of your custody agreement, you may be required to share your itinerary, such as flight numbers and hotel contact information.
If your trip involves international travel, you need to make sure you get your child’s passport in time for the trip. It is also very important to get consent in writing by email or text. That will help in case there might be any disputes down the line.
Establish a Clear Communication Plan with Your Co-parent
A successful co-parenting plan relies on good communication with your ex. That extends to planning a family vacation. The goal is to minimize conflict and ensure your kids have a stress-free vacation.
Instead of texting with your ex on your phone, you should look into a dedicated co-parenting app such as Our Family Wizard or 2Houses. These apps help you create a distinct line of communication as well as a shared calendar so that there should be no question about consent and scheduling.
It is also important to distinguish between a dedicated vacation and your regular parenting time. There might need to be an adjustment if those times overlap. For instance, your vacation time off from work might fall on the week your ex is supposed to have the kids.
With advance planning, it shouldn’t be a problem to make the switch.
Part of your vacation communication also needs to include the details of your trip. You should share any flights and hotel reservations. It is also a good idea to share any “adventures” that might benefit from mutual consent. For instance, if you want to take the kids on a zip line, you’ll have to sign a consent, and it’s a good idea to give a heads-up to your ex as well.
Bottom line: There is no reason to keep any details of a vacation secret. Your kids are going to share when they get back!
Prioritize Your Child’s Best Interests During Travel
It’s exciting to plan a vacation. The big distinction with a post-divorce vacation is that you’re in charge. In other words, you won’t have your partner by your side to split the responsibilities. You’re probably used to this with your custody time, but there are practical considerations when traveling with your kids.
For instance, if you’re at the airport and one child needs to use the restroom, can you leave the other child at the gate, or does every “move” mean everyone goes?
You need to get into the mindset of prioritizing your child’s best interests during travel.
This is what you want to think about:
Plan for Comfort
Two things make for a successful vacation: snacks and chill-out time. Although you might try to pack a lot of fun into your vacation days, a lot can be said for just kicking back and doing nothing. That might mean ordering room service and watching movies one night instead of going out.
As for the snacks, you’ll want to stock up for the travel time and once you reach your destination.
Documentation
It is important to carry proper identification for your children. If you’ve changed your name after the divorce, you want to make sure you’ve got the right IDs to avoid issues with border patrol or the airlines.
Maintain Routine
Even though you’re on vacation, it’s important to keep consistent routines as much as possible. That means having meals at the same time and keeping to the bedtime schedules.
Engage the Child
It’s also important to involve your kids in the planning. You might have a version of the perfect family vacation that isn’t exactly aligned with what your kids want. If they’re involved in the planning process, they’ll be more invested in the fun.
Navigate Conflicts with the Help of Your Family Law Attorney
A vacation can be ruined by rain. It can also be ruined by stress caused by conflicts with your ex over the plans. That is why you want to go above and beyond by communicating your plans and making sure you’re following the terms of your custody agreement.
If you run into resistance with your ex, it might be helpful to bring in a mediator from the family law team at Davis & Associates.
Even if we didn’t prepare the original custody agreement, we can step in and facilitate the communication between you and your ex to help make sure the vacation goes off without a hitch. There might need to be compromises made with regard to switching parenting time and child support expenses.
You want to get those all resolved before you pack your suitcase. We can’t control the weather, but we can keep the lines of communication open.
Call to discuss your concerns today.
